


Akamatsu's Groupchat From Hell

by stupidbitchdisease



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-12
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-08 21:39:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17394176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbitchdisease/pseuds/stupidbitchdisease
Summary: A little explanation, since this chatfic is a bit more “plotty” than it would first seem! This fic is essentially me throwing the entire plot of Danganronpa V3 out the window, because I didn’t like the story but I’m too lazy to do a true rewrite. The characters and relationships are all based on what I find most interesting. Also, I like domestic activity, so this is a HPA au. Here are the main changes to the plot:I yeeted Kaito out of existence. Class 79 A only has 15 students.Amami's talent isn't SHSL Adventurer anymore because I don't like it because I'm gay and I hate the outdoors. It's SHSL Stylist now just because he looks like a gay stylist on ANTM and I do what I want.The 78th class is redesignated as “Class 79 B”, and are in the same year as the V3 idiots.Class 77B are one year older than 79 A and B, so they’re now designated “Class 78 B.”I’m pretty sure HPA has three years, and you can probably tell the 79th class are all freshmen, so that means the 78th class are sophomores! Don’t worry about them graduating anytime soon.Class 79 A and B are 16 year olds, Class 78 B are 17 year olds.This fic will have some real plot! If the DM logs haven’t given you a clue, then…Finally, I am serious when I say I’m making changes. This is really divorced from canon. Just putting that out there.Thank you for reading!!





	1. we just met and already there's chaos

**Author's Note:**

> A little explanation, since this chatfic is a bit more “plotty” than it would first seem! This fic is essentially me throwing the entire plot of Danganronpa V3 out the window, because I didn’t like the story but I’m too lazy to do a true rewrite. The characters and relationships are all based on what I find most interesting. Also, I like domestic activity, so this is a HPA au. Here are the main changes to the plot:
> 
> I yeeted Kaito out of existence. Class 79 A only has 15 students.
> 
> Amami's talent isn't SHSL Adventurer anymore because I don't like it because I'm gay and I hate the outdoors. It's SHSL Stylist now just because he looks like a gay stylist on ANTM and I do what I want.
> 
> The 78th class is redesignated as “Class 79 B”, and are in the same year as the V3 idiots.
> 
> Class 77B are one year older than 79 A and B, so they’re now designated “Class 78 B.”
> 
> I’m pretty sure HPA has three years, and you can probably tell the 79th class are all freshmen, so that means the 78th class are sophomores! Don’t worry about them graduating anytime soon.
> 
> Class 79 A and B are 16 year olds, Class 78 B are 17 year olds.
> 
> This fic will have some real plot! If the DM logs haven’t given you a clue, then…
> 
> Finally, I am serious when I say I’m making changes. This is really divorced from canon. Just putting that out there. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading!!

**_Akamatsu Kaede_ ** _added_ **_Saihara Shuichi_ ** _,_ **_Harukawa Maki_ ** _, and_ **_12_ ** _others to the group chat._

 

 **_Akamatsu Kaede_ ** _changed the name of the message board to_ **_Class 79 A_ ** _._

 

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** Okay everyone, I’m making this chat since we’re all classmates, so I thought it’d be a good idea for us to have a way of talking to each other. Also we don’t know each other and I thought that this way, we could get to know each other better!

 

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** Can I get a roll call guys?

 

 **Saihara Shuichi:** hi

 

 **Harukawa Maki:** Hey.

 

 **Toujou Kirumi:** Hello, Toujou here.

 

 **Shirogane Tsumugi:** here lmao

 

 **Shinguuji Korekiyo:** Present, thank you for the invitation.

 

 **Amami Rantaro:** yo

 

**Yumeno Himiko:**

 

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** Is she ok?

 

 **Angie Yonaga:** She’s next to Angie, said she was too tired to respond.

 

 **Angie Yonaga:** Angie, present! <(•^w^•)>

 

 **Hoshi Ryoma:** here, dont expect me to be online too much

 

 **Gokuhara Gonta:** Hello! Thank you for adding us to the chat!

 

 **Chabashira Tenko:** Here!! Tenko is looking forward to getting to know the girls!!!

 

 **Kiibo:** Hello all, Kiibo here and looking forward to getting to know you all!

 

 **Iruma Miu:** is nobody gonna question the fact that a robot is in a class with us

 

 **Iruma Miu:** o yeah, Iruma here, aka the greatest person youll ever meet lmao

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** but dont they say best for last >:)c

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** the actual best person ull ever meet, present! and as a gift to you all…

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _removed administrative rights from_ **_14_ ** _other people._

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** no escape now >:^)

 

 **Harukawa Maki:** wow we’ve all known each other for a good 10 minutes and i already don’t like this one

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** rude!! just for that–

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Harukawa Maki_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _._

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** do you want to die?

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** a happy customer folks!!

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** also uve got to be the world’s scariest babysitter

 

 **Akamatsu Kaede:** You realize this is _my_ chat, right? How can you take admin rights off the person who made the chat??

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** very easily, u watched me do it ^0^

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** heres another!

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Akamatsu Kaede_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _._

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Wow.

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Saihara Shuichi_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_cryty((;;per_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Amami Rantaro_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_visibly gay_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Toujou Kirumi_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_goth gang?_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Shinguuji Korekiyo_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_beanpole_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Yumeno Himiko_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_potential cryptid_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Hoshi Ryoma_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_confirmed cryptid_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Gokuhara Gonta_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_Greeeen Giant~_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Kiibo_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_my life as a teenage robot_ ** _._

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** id be upset if this werent so accurate

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Shirogane Tsumugi_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_i am an otaku (•^0^•)_ ** _._

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Iruma Miu_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_annoying_ ** _._

 

 **annoying:** man fuck you too

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Angie Yonaga_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_Cutest cult leader!!_ ** _._

 

 **Cutest cult leader!!:** Angie is not a cult leader!! She hasn’t even done any recruiting recently!!

 

 **Ouma Kokichi:** “recently”

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Chabashira Tenko_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_might be gay_ **

 

 **might be gay:** degenerate there is no “might” change it before tenko breaks you

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_might be gay_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_world’s scariest lesbian_ **

 

 **world’s scariest lesbian:** acceptable

 

 **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _changed_ **_Ouma Kokichi_ ** _’s nickname to_ **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _._

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _changed the name of the message board from_ **_Class 79 A_ ** _to_ **_my city now_ ** _._

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** Bone apple tea!

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** sleep with one eye open tonight motherfucker.

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** I’m normally against violence but this nickname filled me with so much rage i blacked out for a second there, I fully support you Harukawa.

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** cant kill me if you cant catch me ;)

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** but i can catch you. you have 12 hours. start running.

 

 **_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _went offline._

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** well im certain that’s going to go peachy

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** anyway enjoy yourselves! make sure to do whatever it is boring ppl do when they wanna make friends so itll be more fun tomorrow!!

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _went offline._

 

 **cryty((;;per:** … this nickname hurts but i almost feel like laughing

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _is online._

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** see, someone has taste!!

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _went offline._

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Well it’s late and I don’t feel like adding you all to a new chat, so I guess we’re living like this now. Literally. Moving day is tomorrow.

 

 **goth gang?:** This should be… interesting to say the least. Living together, I mean.

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Yeah I know what you mean, but I still think it’ll work out!

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Night, all!


	2. and they were roommates ;)

_ 10:27 a.m. _

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** well i cant find him

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** genuinely impressed by that too

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** awww i gained harukawa’s respect!

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** no you didnt

  


**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Then, everyone’s moved in?

  


**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Now we just gotta… spend the next 3 years with each other. Should be cool.

  


**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** not sure how i’m supposed to move all my cosplay into a single lab… i have literal years worth of stuff piled up lmfaooo

  


**Greeeen Giant~:** I’m moving my terrariums through the west wing of school, but…

  
**Greeeen Giant~:** I think the lid on one may be loose, I can hear rattling.

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** did you say the west wing

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** oh hell no

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** oh god i can fjki gn hear the m

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** wait.

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** gokuhara thank you for this unwitting gift

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU: @Ou-mazing!!!!!**

  


**_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _ went offline. _

  


**_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _ went offline. _

  


**goth gang?:** The dorms are fairly big, no? But we’re still rooming with each other. I picked up the listings from the main office, here they are.

  


**_goth gang?_ ** _ dropped  _ **_roommatelist.txt_ ** _ into the message board. _

  


**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Oh, Saihara we’re rooming together! 

  


**cryty((;;per:** okay, I just got my stuff together, meet at around noon?

  


**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Got it!

  


**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** were also rooming toujou, do you need any help with ur stuff? It looks like you didn’t have a lot of time to start moving in.

  


**goth gang?:** I am fine, but I could assist you if you want, I noticed you mentioning you were having trouble moving all your supplies.

  


**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** oh, if it’s really not a problem, sure!

  


**potential cryptid:** weird, im rooming with yonaga and chabashira… group of 3...

  


**potential cryptid:** but our dorm looks a bit bigger so it should be fine….

  


**Cutest cult leader!!:** almost seems like there was someone who should be here right now, but isnt…~

  


**world's scariest lesbian:** yonaga you seem really cool and sweet but… the way you typed that scared tenko….

  


**annoying:** Kiibo! were rooming!! 

  


**annoying:** actually this is really neat i have a ton of questions about how you were built and your features and the way you were programmed!!!

  


**my life as a teenage robot:** well, i’d be happy to answer any questions you have!

  


**annoying:** also i hope you dont mind small explosions or spontaneous loud noises. there isnt enough space in my lab so i have to move some equipment in the dorm.

  


**annoying:** but the dorms are soundproofed so it should be fine!

  


**_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _ is online. _

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** you said the dorms are soundproofed? How can you tell?

  


**annoying:** the material on the outer wall, when we were talking earlier ur voices were muffled from further away.

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** noted. :)c

  


**my life as a teenage robot:** huh, i don’t care for that face. I feel like i should be worried.

  


**_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _ is online. _

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** ur acting bold for someone who just took an involuntary dive into the pool.

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** hawukawa1!! let me have my fun!!!

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** you didnt seem too mad about the pool thing though

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** eh, ive seen worse. being a supreme leader is nasty business!!

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** whatever you say

  


**my life as a teenage robot:** Iruma, this is a lot of equipment…

  


**annoying:** its fine i have an iq of 140 i can absolutely fit it all in here

  


**Greeeen Giant~:** Hoshi, I’m looking forward to rooming with you!

  


**_confirmed cryptid_ ** _ is online. _

  


**confirmed cryptid:** thanks

  


**_confirmed cryptid_ ** _ went offline. _

  


**potential cryptid:** cryptid…..

  


**Greeeen Giant~:** I don’t think so… he was talking with me earlier, I think he’s just reserved.

  


**visibly gay:** dang i havent been responding to this chat at all im like a pseudo-cryptid.

  


**visibly gay:** shinguuji were rooming, i have my stuff ready, do you need help?

  


**beanpole:** I don’t think so, I should be ready by noon as well. My sister is holding me up a bit though. I’ll see you then.

  


**visibly gay:** Got it!

  


**cryty((;;per:** wait…

  


**cryty((;;per:** guys process of elimination who else are rooming together

  


**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** . . .

  


**annoying:** aklkljlkjskjkdskksk shorty and death metal

  


**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** oh this should be interesting.

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** Ouma.

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** . . . yea?

  


**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** text me for ground rules. headmaster said rooms were final so were gonna need to find a way to make this work without me killing you.

  


**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** and not vice verse?

**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** we dont need to worry about that just text me

  


**_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _ went offline. _

  


**_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _ went offline. _

  


**cryty((;;per:** … 

  


**cryty((;;per:** they have each other’s numbers?

  


**goth gang?:** Anyone else need any assistance in moving in? 

  


**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** toujou you havent started moving in yet, have you? u should probably start…

  


**goth gang?:** Alright then. If you’re sure you don’t need help.

  
**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** We have class tomorrow, all, so let’s try and make sure we’re ready for the morning!


	3. cant even wake up right smh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> morning time!! will the idiot committee survive? idek and i wrote this trash

_7:43 a.m._

**goth gang?:** Why is only half the class outside? Class starts in 15 minutes.

**goth gang?:** This is pushing it, I think.

**_world's scariest lesbian_ ** _is online._

**world's scariest lesbian:** oh god oh god we stayed up late last night were gonn a be late for class on tbe first day

**_annoying_ ** _is online._

**annoying:** haha doing what ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**annoying:** also i just woke up so im fucked

**_potential cryptid_ ** _is online._

**potential cryptid:** it wasnt anything like that! we were just up talking is all

**world's scariest lesbian:** tenko regrets nothing her roommates are rlly funny

**world's scariest lesbian:** WHere

**world's scariest lesbian:** is angie

**_Cutest cult leader!!_ ** _is online._

**Cutest cult leader!!:** angie was busy praying with the sunrise! ^0^

**potential cryptid:** and you didnt wake us up?? betrayal

**Greeeen Giant~:** Hoshi and I have been ready for a while now… why didn’t you all set your alarms? D:

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** lmaooooo do you guys even know where homeroom is?

**world's scariest lesbian:**

**potential cryptid:**

**Cutest cult leader!!:**

**annoying:**

**_my life as a teenage robot_ ** _is online._

**my life as a teenage robot:** East wing, A building, room 79

**annoying:** _oh god thank you_

**Cutest cult leader!!:** God blesses you (•UwU•)

**potential cryptid:** you have forged a spirit bond with me, i will not forget this, in times of need i will be there to repay

**my life as a teenage robot:** Guys our class name is literally “79 A” how did you not know where class is??

**_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _is online._

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—: @cryty((;;per**

**_cryty((;;per_ ** _is online._

**cryty((;;per:** omg i overslept jdhskfjdlgkf why didnt my alarm go off this is a disaster

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** irrelevant, those 15 minutes are looking more like 10 now, get moving!!

**cryty((;;per:** omw

**_cryty((;;per_ ** _is offline._

**visibly gay:** this is actually pretty funny

**beanpole:** Incredible, you can hear the girls stampeding for A building.

**beanpole:** I think Iruma is skateboarding, in fact.

**visibly gay:**..

**visibly gay:** how is she going that fast on a skateboard

**annoying:** Ultimate inventor, babey !!! this things got rocket propulsion !!!

**annoying:** skate fast, smoke grass, and eat ass !!!!

**my life as a teenage robot:** omg dont text while skateboarding DONT TEXT WHILE SKATEBOARDING

**annoying:** OK !!!!!

**_annoying_ ** _went offline._

**visibly gay:** hey did yall know theres a starbucks not even 2 minutes away from hpa??

**visibly gay:** saying this because i ran into our homeroom teacher there not even 5 minutes ago

**visibly gay:** we made eye contact and the look she gave me was uh scary

**visibly gay:** anyways she said she was probably gonna be late by a good half hour, something about needing aspirin for whats coming up

**visibly gay:** wonder why shed say that

**_cryty((;;per_ ** _and_ **_annoying_ ** _are online._

**annoying:** _are you shitting me_

**cryty((;;per:** oh… there was no rush…

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Hmm… Angie is upsetti!!

**world's scariest lesbian:** **_ama-mi you degenerate why didnt you say this sooner_ **

**visibly gay:**. . .

**beanpole:**. . . it was funny.

**potential cryptid:** are you serious???? i litcherally never run, ever, and now i think im gonna pass out thanks to ur sorry asses

**potential cryptid:** when i come to…  im gonna curse ur dicks off...

**_potential cryptid_ ** _went offline._

**beanpole:** At least I still have time.

**world's scariest lesbian:** no you dont

**beanpole: Oh dear**

**visibly gay:** JdhajJdhahzJFHAJ SHE JUST KICKSD THE DOOR DOWN ASKFHS

**visibly gay:** OH GOD—

**_visibly gay_ ** _and_ **_beanpole_ ** _went offline._

**world's scariest lesbian:** **problem solved.**

**_world's scariest lesbian_ ** _went offline._

**goth gang?:** … and on that note, I really should start cleaning up the classroom. The teacher will be coming soon anyway, and I don’t think this room has been used in a while.

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** toujou, you stayed up till 2 last night organizing all our stuff

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** u really dont need to do that. how much sleep did you get??

**goth gang?:** Irrelevant. I should be fine for the day, and this is my job.

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** … that sounds fake but mk

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** wheres Harukawa and Ouma anyway

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** I dont wanna be morbid but u dont think…

**_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _and_ **_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _are online._

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** told u theyd all be late lmfao

**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** i didnt even have expectations and u guys failed all of them

**annoying:** man stfu i thought itd be u waking up late, how are you already here??

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** supreme leaders dont sleep, thats how they get backstabbed!! im just too powerful 4 that!

**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** he made a bet that you, saihara, chabashira, yonaga and yumeno would oversleep

**cryty((;;per:**. . . can you read minds??? ??

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** yes.

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** also, ur alarm not going off was all on me, i lockpicked my way into ur room and turned it off uwu

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** wtf thats illegal!!!

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** you cant do that!!!

**cryty((;;per:** wow thank s for that i feel significantly less safe in my bed now haha

**Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** asshole thats cheating you cant rig results like that

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** u never said i couldnt

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** anyway its no harm no foul so im out!!!

**_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _went offline._

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** well thats,, nice to know,,,,,

**_world's scariest lesbian_ ** _is online._

**world's scariest lesbian:** tenko sees the teacher coming the main gates from the window! everyone get over here!!

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** roger!!


	4. Say goodbye to everyones phones umu

_11:55 a.m._

 

**visibly gay:** shirogane

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** yea?

 

**visibly gay:** are you watching anime in the middle of class

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** what are you, a cop? piss off

 

**visibly gay:** no i was gonna ask if you could tilt the screen a little, i wanna watch

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** oh, fine lmao

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Angie cant see, smh

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** if i tilt it any further, im gonna get caught

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** ur on ur phone anyway, just pirate like the rest of us

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Theres a cop in our class and ur just gonna admit to pirating anime, huh

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Actually lets discuss this, we have a shsl detective in the same class as the leader of whats almost certainly a criminal organization

 

**visibly gay:** @ **cryty((;;per @Ou-mazing!!!!!** what gives

 

**_cryty((;;per_ ** _and_ **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _are online._

 

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** i mean its not like he can arrest me lmao

 

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** but ur welcome to try investigating if u think itll do anything (i doubt it)

 

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** but be careful!! if u find out too much ill have to kill u which might make me feel bad :(((

 

**cryty((;;per:** i dont even think im allowed to investigate classmates officially, which is strange

 

**cryty((;;per:** seriously hopes peak is weird, people can admit to doing illegal stuff without any problems

 

**_goth gang?_ ** _is online._

 

**goth gang?:** I believe the official policy is that anything goes, as long as nothing can be traced to the school.

 

**goth gang?:** Also, your texting is disturbing the class. I’d advise you all to st

 

**_goth gang?_ ** _went offline._

 

**cryty((;;per:** they got the responsible one

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Angies prayin for toujou’s phone

 

**_annoying_ ** _is online._

 

**annoying:** can you guys quit it half of us are looking under our desks it looks super suspici

 

**_annoying_ ** _went offline._

 

**visibly gay:** and another one bites the dust

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** double kill

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** Really, lets stop now instead of getting all our phones taken

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** agreed

 

**_Cutest cult leader!!_ ** _,_ **_visibly gay_ ** _,_ **_cryty((;;per_ ** _, and_ **_i am an otaku (•^0^•)_ ** _went offline._

 

* * *

 

_2:07 p.m._

 

**annoying:** thanks 4 that, all. rlly appreciated it.

 

**Cutest cult leader!!:** how do u have ur phone back so quickly. toujou doesnt even have hers, and the teacher likes her

 

**annoying:** ultimate inventor!! keep up!

 

**goth gang?:** Iruma was kind enough to provide me with a back up device. That said, I can’t say I’m pleased with you three.

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** what else are we supposed to do in class? math??

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** seriously this school is janked, were supposed to “nurture our talents” but class time is spent doing academic things.

 

**i am an otaku (•^0^•):** i get that most classes are optional but whats the point of having normal class when everyone always skips??

 

**_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _is online._

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Update for you all;

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** We’re supposed to pick a class rep for our time at hpa

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Nominations? I’m leaning towards toujou

 

**goth gang?:** While I am flattered, my occupation as SHSL Maid would prohibit me from effectively leading. I am more suited to serving and taking orders.

 

**goth gang?:** But if I may input, Akamatsu, you’ve already shown plenty of initiative in creating this way for us to talk and form connections, something a class rep would need to be skilled in.

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** wkjflajfbdxjbddjd odhfkhdjdghdjbsndc

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** t

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** thanks

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Really though, Id be happy to hear any other nominations!

 

**world's scariest lesbian:** tenko is happy with this!!

 

**Greeeen Giant~:** This looks like it would work well!

 

**Ou-mazing!!!!!:** im already leader of one organization, dont need to be on charge of another

 

**goth gang?:** It seems as if we’re in a general consensus.

 

**goth gang?:** I will notify the teacher of our decision.

 

**shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** tysm toujou!

 

* * *

 

**-Error: The following messages are encrypted. Relevant administrative position not detected.**

_Input: Encryption_Key_

 

**-Decryption: Accepted**

**-Direct Message Logs: Access?**

_Input: Access_

 

**-Identities Inaccessible: Continue?**

_Input: Continue_

 

**-Accessing . . .**

**-Logs Accessed.**

.

.

**< Unknown_1>: **idk, its just weird being here after everything.

 

**< Unknown_1>: **and its even weirder that shes here. i wonder if she remembers at all?

 

**< Unknown_1>: **its like… i dont know how to act and i cant relax, no matter how much i want to

 

**< Unknown_1>: **even though logically, i wouldnt be safer anywhere else, knowing that doesnt help. does that make sense?

 

**< Unknown_2>: **welcome to my entire life

 

**< Unknown_2>: **but you know you can talk to me like this anytime, right?

 

**< Unknown_1>: **yeah. off the record, im really glad your here. i really wish i could just go back and find a way to redo everything, so it could be like this all the time.

 

**< Unknown_1>: **love you

 

**< Unknown_2>: **im not even gonna bother responding to that (love you too)

 

**_< Unknown_1> _ ** _and_ **_< Unknown_2> _ ** _went offline._

 

**-End Log**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, idk if this was apparant but theres going to be genuine plot going on here.
> 
> As a preface for the future, I'm going to explain some stuff:  
> -This is a HPA au (duh)  
> -I believe (believe!!) that there are only 3 years at HPA, so just saying this now, Class 79A and Class 78 are in the same year (therefore class 78 is now Class 79B) also class 77B are now class 78. Convoluted, I know.  
> -Class 79 A and B are 16 year olds here.  
> -Class 78 B are 17 year olds.  
> -I didn't care for a lot of things in V3 and I'm too lazy to do a complete rewrite like more talented people are doing, so this is my compromise! What this means is that there are going to be a lot lot lot of creative liberties taken, if Kaito's complete absence hasn't already indicated that.  
> -The aforementioned plot is going to be incorporated among the memes and dumb things the class does, sometimes in regular novel format.
> 
> \--- Finally, this is my shitty dangan ronpy fanfiction, so i do what i want!!! so remember what i said about "creative liberties"? Oh Boy


	5. insomniac gang!!!

_3:24 a.m._

 

 **annoying:** haha u know whats funny.

 

 **annoying:** pets arent allowed in dorms

 

 **annoying:** this schoolcan evade the law but we cant even have that

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** Iru-ma, where are you?? its incredibly late and we have mandatory class  in the morning.

 

 **annoying:** im in my labb im jusg busy is all

 

 **annoying:** actulaly i was thinking about making upgrades for you

 

 **annoying:** u said u didnt have any speciaj fucntions so i was thinkgn stuff like smoke detectcors n equipmen tfor emergencies

 

 **annoying:** i need a challenge  or im gonna get bored

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** are you alright? you’re making a lot of typos… you need to get some sleep!

 

 **annoying:** well its 3 am. why r you awake? ?

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** I charge quickly, so Im usually up early

 

 **_beanpole_ ** _is online._

 

 **beanpole:** So I’m not the only one here who’s up late.

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** really?? Shinguuji I thought youd be more responsible than this

 

 **beanpole:** I wanted to start reading the material in the main library. It stays unlocked 24/7 and the range of material is… impressive.

 

 **annoying:** how r ur eyes not burnign haha

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** What are you reading right now? it must be interesting if its keeping you up this late.

 

 **annoying:** wow so i get lectured but he gets off scott free??

 

**beanpole:**

 

 **beanpole:** To answer your question, Kiibo, I’m currently perusing the occult section. I’ve never seen such an expansive collection from so many different cultures.

 

 **annoying:** _omg  pleade dont sumkmon a demon_

 

 **_i am an otaku (•^0^•)_ ** _is online._

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** oh shit you guys are awake??? its 3 am wtf are u gonna do when class starts

 

 **beanpole:** But you’re awake . . .

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** i lost track of time playing bandori… and now im planning to cosplay Lisa Imai… an otaku’s mind never stops

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** but seriously i at least take naps, are u guys good??

 

 **annoying:** nver r been better

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _and_ **_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _are online._

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** i get that u guys are having an insomniac’s group therapy here, but ur pinging everyone else and idk if i can keep maki from killing u guys if she wakes up

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Oh wtf everyone’s up. i was in the piano lab lmao, lost track of time again. insomniac gang.

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** insomniac gang!

 

 **annoying:** insmoniac gang !!

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** insomniac gang or whatever

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** please stop

 

 **beanpole:**. . .

 

 **beanpole:** Insomniac gang.

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** mdhsjdbs i give in, ouma just turn notifs off until the morning

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** anything 4 u, alexa!!!

 

 _Notifications are now_ **_off_ ** _._

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** this is bullying, i think…

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** dont read too much into it. i dont want amazon on my tail!!

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _went offline._

 

 **beanpole:** I’m going to take my leave, I have business to attend to at the moment.

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** at 3 am???

 

 **beanpole:** Yes.

 

 **_beanpole_ ** _went offline._

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** rudey!!!

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** well, I dont think I can stop you from staying up, just going to ask that you dont overdo it

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** night then

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** night!

 

 **_i am an otaku (•^0^•)_ ** _and_ **_my life as a teenage robot_ ** _went offline._

 

 **annoying:** and then there wd one…

 

 **annoying:** oh i have  a genihs fuckkng idea

 

 **annoying:** “no pets” my ass …..

 

 **_annoying_ ** _went offline._

 

* * *

 

 **-Error: The following messages are encrypted. Relevant administrative position not detected** .   


_Input: Encryption_Key_   


  
  
**-Decryption: Accepted** **  
** **  
** **-Direct Message Logs: Access?** **  
**

_Input: Access_  
  
  
****

**-Identities Inaccessible: Continue?** **  
**

 

 _I_ _nput: Continue_

  
  
  
**-Accessing . . .** **  
****  
****-Logs Accessed.**

 

.

 

.

 

 **< Unknown_1>: **I don’t know what to tell you. HPA doesn’t let students off campus after hours. It’s only been a few days, all I ask is that you be patient.

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **Not an excuse. You’d find a way if you cared. I bet that’s the real reason why you haven’t visited yet, it’s that you don’t care.

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **You know I’m the best you’re going to get, anyway. You’re too much of a freak for anyone else to want to talk to you. You know the only thing you have going for you is your talent, and even that’s freakish.

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **Seriously, do you know how hard it is being seen in public with you? You always attract stares, and the embarrassing questions I have to put up with! All I ask of you is to visit once in a while, and you can’t even do that?

 

 **< Unknown_1>:** I’m sorry. I’ll visit you before the start of next week.

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **You’d better.

 

 **_< Unknown_1> _ ** _and_ **_< Unknown_2> _ ** _went offline._

 

**-End Log**


	6. alexa.....

_7:15 a.m._

 

 **visibly gay:** Iruma wtf is this in the commons

 

_[ROOMBA???.png]_

 

 **annoying:** first, thanks for waking me up

 

 **annoying:** second, thats our new pet! the dorms said we cant have animals in here so i went and found a little loophole

 

 **visibly gay:** maam,

 

 **visibly gay:** this is a roomba

 

 **annoying:** talk shit about alexa again and ill break ur kneecaps, pretty boy

 

 **visibly gay:** i feel unsafe suddenly

 

 **annoying:** hey @ **my life as a teenage robot** !!!

 

 **_my life as a teenage robot_ ** _is online._

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** Hello Iruma—

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** Oh.

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** … you named it alexa???? I feel like im being bullied again??????

 

 **visibly gay:** asjfhksjcjajfkajx

 

 **visibly gay:** hey iruma

 

 **annoying:** motherfucker dont finish that sentence

 

 **annoying:** i know what ur planning to do u unfunny bitch

 

 **visibly gay:** im offended!! id never stoop so low as to pull a 6 month old meme out my ass!

 

 **annoying:** wait for it

 

 **annoying:**. . .

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** AMAMI WHAT WAS SOUND FROM THE COMMONS

 

 **visibly gay:** IRUMA WTF

 

 **annoying:** HA! you’ve activated my trap card!!

 

 **_goth gang?_ ** _is online._

 

 **_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _is online._

 

 **_beanpole_ ** _is online._

 

 **_confirmed cryptid_ ** _is online_

 

 **_Ou-mazing!!!!!_ ** _is online._

 

 **_world's scariest lesbian_ ** _is online._

 

 **_potential cryptid_ ** _is online._

 

 **visibly gay:** oh god

 

 **_cryty((;;per_ ** _is online._

 

 **_Hawukawa Mawki UWU_ ** _is online._

 

 **_Greeeen Giant~_ ** _is online._

 

 **annoying:** do u wanna explain urself, pothead? or should i?

 

 **confirmed cryptid:** its too early for this shit.

 

 **Greeeen Giant~:** It’s burning my ears… D:

 

 **confirmed cryptid:** look what youve done. youre hurting gokuhara.

 

 **world's scariest lesbian:** tenko is going to go feral.

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Turn it off before I turn you off permanently.

 

 **beanpole:** Not only did I barely get any sleep, but I wake up to this.

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** i just woke up to the sound of a bass-boosted rendition of Luis Fonsi ft. Daddy Yankee’s Despacito.

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** which of you are trying to die?

 

 **annoying:** it was amami lmfaoooooo

 

 **goth gang?:** Really, now?

 

 **visibly gay:**.

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** Iruma please how do you turn it off??

 

 **annoying:** a) let it play through the whole song or b) get pothead to apologize to alexa

 

 **visibly gay:** im not going to apologize to a roomba

 

 **beanpole:** I’m disappointed in you, Amami.

 

 **visibly gay:** OK OK ILL DO IT GOD

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:**.

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** thanks for giving me enough time to get that on camera lmaooooo

 

 **annoying:** PLEASE GOD SEND THAT TO ME

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** will do!!!!

 

_[asparagus_says_the_magic_word_to_a_roomba.avi]_

 

 **visibly gay:** im calling the witness protection program.

  


  
_3:46 p.m._

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Andddd finally, the waste of time required classes are over for the start of semester! Teacher just told me that we have a single required class on monday mornings, and nothing else.

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Now to discuss the roomba in the room. iruma?

 

 **annoying:** its a pet roomba! idk what to tell u, i programmed it to respond to dog commands and stuff, it can vacuum, its got some secret features on it… oh! @ **my life as a teenage robot** i actually was considering asking you to help me mod it more later

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** Just because im a robot doesnt mean i know how to program anything…

 

 **annoying:** its fine, ill show you!! just dont pull an amami and tell it to play despacito

 

 **my life as a teenage robot:** if youre sure you wont mind me not knowing what im doing, sure! and i can assure you im not going to do that

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** Ok then, taking that into note - _nobody pull the dead meme._ anyway! @ **everyone** I was wondering if you would be cool with me organizing a game night or something, just so we can get to know eachother better. you know, truth or dare, never have i ever….. whatever else regular teenagers do…… that!

 

 **goth gang?:** If you are planning something, I would volunteer to help organize and prepare.

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** toujou you know you dont have to do that… you keep doing all the chores on your own…

 

 **goth gang?:** I’m just doing my job as a maid. I don’t mind.

 

 **i am an otaku (•^0^•):** if thats the case, sure!! just, sorry if i dont talk as much there than i do in chat…

 

 **Cutest cult leader!!:** sounds like a good time… chaos waiting to happen~~~ >:3c

 

 **Ou-mazing!!!!!:** yonaga. i like you. @ **Hawukawa Mawki UWU** come on makiiiii!

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** .

 

 **Hawukawa Mawki UWU:** fine

 

 **potential cryptid:** ill come but i wont stay long

 

 **confirmed cryptid:** im only coming to make sure nobody pulls anything on gokuhara. hes cool

 

 **Greeeen Giant~:** Thank you!

 

 **shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—:** I think thats a majority agreement. ill see you friday night, then!

 

 **_shoved a whole piano tuner up my a—_ ** _,_ **_annoying_ ** _, and 12 other people went offline._

 

 **beanpole:**.

 

 **_beanpole_ ** _went offline._

  
  


**-Error: The following messages are encrypted. Relevant administrative position not detected.** **  
**  
_Input: Encryption_Key_ _  
_  
  
  
**-Decryption: Accepted** **  
****  
****-Direct Message Logs: Access?** **  
****  
**_Input: Access_ _  
_  
  
  
**-Identities Inaccessible: Continue?** **  
**  
_Input: Continue_  
  
  
  
**-Accessing . . .** **  
****  
****-Logs Accessed.** **  
**  
.  
  
.

 

 **< Unknown_1>: **Hello, I was wondering if you’re doing alright? You haven’t gone outside much since semester began…

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **im fine. nothing to worry about…

 

 **< Unknown_1>: **If you say so…

 

 **< Unknown_1>: **Well, I was wondering if you wanted to do anything over the weekend? I ordered a ticket to a biology museum but accidentally bought two.

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **…

 

 **< Unknown_2>: **if youre sure its not a bother, ok

  


**-End Log**


End file.
